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January 11, 2007

Let me start off by letting everyone know that my body rejects coolness. It's true. I can't stand the taste of Chinese food or seafood. I've tried to get the top of my ear pierced twice and though I follow the care instructions carefully, it always gets infected. So, it doesn't surprise me that I've never had a good Starbucks experience, seeing how Starbucks is the coolest of coffee joints.

I walk into a Starbucks on my lunch break today and begin reading the board. Apparently people are supposed to know what they want immediately because the lady behind the counter (even though I was the only customer) said, "Can I help you? Ma'am? MA'AM? Can I help you, Ma'am? Ma'am?" Feeling pressured, I blurted out the first thing my eyes rested on, "I'll take a small Carmel Macchiato!"

I'll pause here to fill in the other dorks like me (I assume there are a few out there.) In Starbucksland, Tall means Small. Now in my mind, that just doesn't make sense. You can say, "Please give me a very small cup - I'm not very thirsty." You CAN'T say, "Please give me a very tall cup - I'm not very thirsty." It just doesn't make sense. In the rushed, hectic world of Starbucksland, though, apparently it does. I guess it has something to do with the popular theory that bigger is better, but I favor smallish delicate things more. Then again, I am not cool.

The receiving of the Tall little cup was a whirlwind of talking, pointing, exchanging of cards and receipts. I think she was talking to me the whole time, but she was talking so fast I didn't understand a word of it. Both of the women working there seemed very thankful that I stopped by, though. As I was leaving (and I was the only one there at the time) I hear, "Bye! Thank you! Thanks! Come back again! Bye! Thanks again!" Too much caffeine, those two.

I get back to my car and take a little drive. I know all about coffee. I have to let it cool a bit first, you see. I drive to a little park and find myself a shady spot in which to enjoy my drink. Right away, even though I'm taking teeny, tiny sips, I burn my mouth. I give it a little time and try again. More burning. I give it a little more time and try again. Completely cold. I don't know where the yummy, hot-but-not-burning temperature went, but apparently it was only there for about two and a half minutes.

Next time I'm going back to my sweet little Coffee Times and ordering my small black chai and read my Wodehouse in peace.

September 8, 2006

This is my first blog as a 29 year old. To be honest, for the past year I've thought that I was already 29, so it almost came as a disappointment to realize I wasn't turning 30 this year. Don't get me wrong, it's fine to be in my twenties for another year. It's just that I've never been in my thirties so I'm kind of excited about it. With any luck I'll be there next year. ;-)

I'm kicking off my 29th year with a little mini-makeover. I got my hair cut and colored yesterday and tonight I'm going shopping for some new threads. I've been told that turquoise is "my color" so I guess I'll keep an eye out for that shade. Other than that I'm pretty much at a loss, so I'm glad my friend Stephanie is going with me tonight. I hate shopping, so at least with a friend's help it won't be a miserable experience.

I don't have anything deep or profound to talk about today. I just wanted to post a blog since I am (as previously mentioned) 29 now.

June 4, 2006

This past weekend Alex and I spent some time with his family. At one point his dad asked a question regarding the Civil War (whether or not some general had passed through there) and I realized that I had no idea. In fact, I know very little about anything that happened before, oh, let’s say… 1990. I’d say that’s when I started becoming aware of what was going on around me, and before that it just didn’t stick.

Let me explain. In my youth, I was a master of something I later heard called the "poke and puke" syndrome. The teacher would tell us exactly what was going to be on the test, I would study and cram it all into my head, then when the test time came around I would "puke" it all back out. At that point it all left my brain, never to be thought of again. We never had those end of the year tests that I’ve heard other people talk about, where they test you one final time to make sure you’ve remembered everything you learned about that year. Because of this, I retained virtually nothing I learned in school other than simple mathematics.

I did have a teacher for nine weeks my senior year that was awesome. He taught English, and he was the one who introduced me to the "poke and puke" phrase. We could not get away with that in his class. He would teach us the basics, and then on the tests we would have to apply those basics to figure out the answers ourselves. We were tested over and over at random on the things we were learning, so we always had to keep it fresh in our minds. After the first nine weeks of class, his son was in a car accident and he had to stop teaching to care for him. I can safely say I learned more in that nine weeks than I ever had before, and I thank him for pushing us.

Now, this is the thing that will thrill my old college roommate, Amy. I am currently reading "Diary of a Confederate Soldier: John S. Jackman of the Orphan Brigade." I say that about Amy because she was a history major and was always appalled at what little I knew. Anyway, I really do want to learn more, but it has to be more than just memorizing dates and names. What intrigues me is hearing about what they actually went through, what they experienced and what effect it had on them. I want to know why they did what they did, not just when and where they did it. The book I’m reading now is awesome, because it’s written by one of the soldiers during the war. The tiniest details amaze me, like the fact that after spending weeks marching from KY into TN, he couldn’t get to sleep in a bed because he was used to sleeping on the ground.

Hopefully this will be the first book of many, as I go back and learn what I should have learned in high school. I could say something about the WV school system here, but I have friends who read this who are fellow West Virginians so I probably shouldn’t. ;-)

May 9, 2006

What would I do without my sweetie? I'm going to tell you about my evening but I should start by saying this blog entry is not for the faint of heart. If you can't handle a gruesome story, turn back now. Just close the window and leave. For those of you who think you can handle it, read on.

This afternoon I realized that if I didn't mow the yard, it wasn't going to get done until this weekend. Not that our yard looks that great anyway (we learned what happens when you buy a new house where they put down sod and then didn't water it) but it did have parts that were growing. I decided I'm big enough, old enough, and ugly enough to do it myself (that's a WV phrase for ya in case you've never heard it before.)

I did mow the yard, and I did a fine job. However, I also pinched my finger on the mower. Ow! When I got done with the yard and went inside to wash my hands, I noticed something wasn't washing off of my finger. Looking closer, I saw that my finger was bleeding where it had been pinched, but the skin had not been broken! Ewwwwww! Gross! :-\ So I quickly ran out of the bathroom and through the bedroom and down the hall and through the living room and up the stairs so that I could put my finger under Alex's nose and wail about how disgusting it was.

Alex calmly looked at my finger, said, "Oh, that happens to me all the time. Just grab some fingernail clippers and snip a little hole in it." I could have fainted right there if I hadn't been on the staircase and knew better than to lose consciousness. Trying to be brave I went back down the stairs, through the living room, yadda yadda until I got back into the bathroom. I tried to do what he said, I really did. He came down to see how I was doing, took one look at me trying to snip my finger without actually looking, and told me to hand over the clippers.

Long story short(er than it could have been) my sweetie took care of everything. All this happened a couple of hours ago and you can barely tell that anything happened to my finger at all. But it did. And now when I get old and wobbly and disgusting, I can rest assured that I'll have someone there who can handle it.

By the way, in case you are one of the maybe two people that keep up with this site and my MySpace account, don't be surprised when (such as today) you see the same entry in both places. Sometimes I just don't have enough in my brain to come up with two separate stories so when I come up with one I like as much as this one, I'm going to post it in both places. So there.

March 27, 2006

I was born and raised in a Christian family. I was baptized at a young age and spent my entire life in the church. I’ve not always made the right decisions, but I do my best to live the life to which I’m called. In my walk I’ve come across so many people who have been burned by the church. That concept has always seemed alien to me. How could someone be “burned” by a body of believers who are called to share God’s unconditional love?

Unfortunately, I understand now.

When you live your life trying to do what’s right you’re horribly surprised when you find someone who thinks you’re wrong. It’s even worse when the offended person doesn’t even bother to share with you the problem that they believe you to have. Maybe they don’t have time, or maybe they don’t care. Maybe they do feel the need to discuss it – only not with you.

Gossip is something that I’ve always struggled with, and still do. If I’ve heard "news" about someone it’s terribly tempting for me to tell it to someone else. Not everyone, mind you, but those closest to me. I’ve finally become the victim of gossip, and now I know what it’s like to be the one gossiped about. It hurts. It hurts that rumors could be spread without anyone bothering to check the truth. If only someone would come to me and ask me about what they’ve heard, then the rumors might stop. I guess it’s just too easy to believe what you hear instead of taking the time to check the source.

Alex and I joined our church not to long ago, and before we did we took a class to find out exactly what the church believes and why they believe it. One of the things they believe is that there should be absolutely no gossip in the church. Seriously – I even signed a form stating that I promised I would do my best never to gossip again (that wasn’t the only thing on the form, but it was one of them.) I thought it was a silly thing to ask of a new church member at the time, but I see now how gossip can break hearts, rip friendships apart and tear down church communities.

It’s no wonder non-Christians look at the Christian faith and decide they don’t want to be a part of it. When you have friends who will shut you out of your lives because they believe you’re sinful, who needs enemies?

March 17, 2006

Let’s see... what’s new? You already know about Alex and I being in Cinderella, but you don’t know about it from my point of view. The only thing I’ve done even remotely like this was to be an extra in the Kentucky Ballet Theatre’s productions of The Nutcracker and Dracula. That consisted of learning a few dances and being told to “act like you’re at a party.” No problem! The difference was that those shows focused on dancing, with little emphasis on acting. Cinderella focuses on acting, with a little emphasis on dancing. My character, although unnamed in the script, has to have a personality and a background, she has to have relationships with other people, feelings and emotions and I have to portray all of that without words! For Alex, this will be a breeze. He could do this show in his sleep. For me, it’s quite a challenge and it’s pushing me way beyond the boundaries of my comfort zone. Still, I think it’s good to do that now and then or you’ll never grow.

I’ve recently noticed how long my hair is getting, and have started to wonder how long I’ll let it get before I cut it off again (I’ve had pretty short hair most of my adult life, so that’s what I’m used to.) I’ve decided to let it grow a few inches longer and then chop it off for Locks of Love. In case you’ve never heard of Locks of Love, it is a non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children 18 years and younger suffering from long-term medical hair loss. I’m telling my friends about my decision so that they can shame me if I get more than just a trim during the time that I’m supposed to be growing my hair out for the donation. I need to have at least 10 inches in length to donate (while leaving myself enough hair to style once that much has been cut off.) Technically I think I could donate right now, but I’d be bald and Alex said if I was bald I’d look like a matchstick.

I’ve got several goals for this year (not New Year’s Resolutions, but goals) and a couple of them I’m already in the process of attaining. One was to push myself out of my comfort zone a bit (see first paragraph.) One is to make that donation to Locks of Love. Another is to get in better shape financially and physically. The financial goal is well under way, and by the end of this year Alex and I should be in good shape. I’m really proud of the way we’ve turned things around within the last few months. As for the physical goal, it’s on hold while I await my exercise video in the mail. I’m pretty excited about it, though. It’s a set of five workout DVD’s by Jillian Michaels that’s sure to get me moving (if it doesn’t kill me.) I don’t need to lose weight, but I do need to get in better shape just so that I feel better. I ordered it last month but I got a real deal for it (even cheaper than what it’s listed at right now) and it was back ordered at the time. It’s supposed to ship next week, though, so wish me luck!

January 10, 2006

Today is a new day. Over the past couple of weeks I have felt battered and broken, but I realized last night that sometimes it's when we feel the weakest that God is able to speak to us more clearly than ever. Instead of trying to constantly spout out all the "right" answers, when you're broken you just sit quietly and beg for God to do the talking. Yes, everything is changing for Alex and I, but God never promised that we'd stay in the same place doing the same thing for the rest of our lives. In following God you have got to be willing to give up everything, even the things that He gives you for a short time. If Alex and I had never given up our safe, simple lives to do youth ministry, we would've missed out on such a blessing. Now He has called us to give up that and we trust Him to bless us in our next work of ministry. When you follow Christ you are in for a wild ride, but it's worth every step.

The following song came on the radio this morning as I was driving to work (I know, I usually listen to Chuck Swindoll in the mornings, but this morning I needed some time for worship.) I've always loved this song, but the words really rang true today. I have cried on God's shoulder, He is my shelter and my hiding place, and He loves me more than I could imagine. I give my burden to Him.

Cry On My Shoulder - Overflow

You say you're falling apart.
Reached the end of the line.
Just looking for your place in an ordinary life.
No one calls you friend.
No on even knows your name.
You just want to feel loved instead of all the pain.

You no longer have to say.
No one's listening anyway.

Come here and cry on my shoulder.
I'll hold you 'till it's over.
I'll rescue you tonight.
Let my arms be your shelter,
You're hiding place forever.
I'll love you more than life

You're wearing a frown.
Given up on hope.
My heart is reaching out.
More than you will ever know.
Is your burden too much?
Is it more than you can bear?
I'll help carry the load if you're willing to share.

You no longer have to say.
No one's listening anyway.

Come here and cry on my shoulder.
I'll hold you 'till its over.
I'll rescue you tonight.
Let my arms be your shelter,
You're hiding place forever.
I'll love you more than life

You have had some hard times.
Had thorns placed in your side.
I know about what you've been going though.
Tears of pain are falling down.
It hurts so bad you're crying out.
Your problems won't last forever.
Let Me put you back together

January 9, 2006

To my friends and family - please keep us in your prayers.

To the people we've served and those we've served with - "We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us."

- 1 Thessalonians 2:8

To anyone who loves "speaking in songs" as much as I do here's a song written from God's perspective -

Derek Webb - Beloved

Beloved these are dangerous times
Because you are weightless like a leaf from the vine
And the wind has blown you all over town
Because there is nothing holding you to the ground

So now you would rather be
A slave again than free from the law

(chorus)
Beloved listen to Me
Don’t believe all that you see
And don’t you ever let anyone tell you
That there’s anything that you need
But Me

Beloved these are perilous days
When your culture is so set in it’s ways
That you will listen to salesmen and thieves preaching
Other than the truth you’ve received

Because they are telling lies
For they cannot circumcise your hearts

(chorus)
Beloved there is nothing more
No more blessings and no more rewards
Than the treasure of My body and blood
Given freely to all daughters and sons

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